


Forced

by butterflyslinky



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Babies, Discussion of Abortion, Hopeful Ending, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, Incest, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-06 00:18:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4200624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflyslinky/pseuds/butterflyslinky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Early in the journey, Thorin's company is captured by breeders. Everything goes wrong after that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forced

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for the kink meme prompt here: http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/13429.html?thread=24503669#t24503669. This went on a lot longer than I'd anticipated. I am very, very ashamed of writing this, but I tried not to make it too disturbing. Other pairings are left ambiguous on purpose because I didn't want to think too hard about it.

Fili couldn’t decide which was worse, the sounds or the smell. He couldn’t see. Thank the Valar he couldn’t see past the blindfold.

Because his senses were already on overload. He could hear sobs of people too broken to properly speak, screams of pain, protests against an unknown force, growls of pleasure, pleas of release, babies crying, people begging for food, for light…

But the smell…Fili was certain that even if they escaped, he would never be able to rid his memory of that smell, blood and sweat and sex mingling with the smells of new birth and illness and every day humanity all crammed together in too small a space. Fili was overwhelmed by it and fought the urge to vomit. That would only make the smell worse. Besides, he was of Durin’s line. He was made of stronger stuff.

He wanted to run. To escape back to the road, to get away from the Men who had set upon them all and disarmed them through sheer numbers, tied their hands and blindfolded them before dragging them…here. Wherever here was.

But he couldn’t. Even if he could escape, there was no guarantee he’d get the others out, and he would not leave them to their fates. So he had no choice but to stumble along in the line, listening to the sounds around them, joining the protests of his companions, his brother’s barely-muffled whimpers and Dori’s begging for Ori to be released and Dwalin’s roars of fury. Thorin was silent, so Fili remained silent as well. He would not show weakness. He was a Durin. He would be strong.

Their captors brought them to a halt quite suddenly. There was a lot of swearing and stumbling as the dwarves tripped over each other and their blindfolds were ripped off. Fili took one look at their surroundings before his squeezed his eyes shut again.

They were in what looked like a dungeon, with cells all around, and every sell had a dwarf or dwarves locked inside. Some were engaged in very rough sex, others held small babies. All were thin, and ragged, beards dirty and clothes torn, if they wore any at all. Their eyes were all dead, their faces all streaked with tears and Fili know that there was never any sort of cleaning in this place.

But he finally understood where they were. He had heard the stories, cautionary tales told to young dwarflings about men who captured and sold dwarves as pets, about the horrible conditions that dwarves kidnapped for breeding were kept in. But he never thought he would be in this position. He never thought that he would be put in this place.

It took a moment for Fili to open his eyes again, and he instantly looked to his uncle, his steady, steel-faced uncle. Thorin kept his eyes straight ahead and his face expressionless, but Fili could see the fire in his eyes. Had Thorin known where they were going when they had been captured? Had he realized what his people would witness when their weapons were taken from them?

Their captors were talking, arguing. They were gesturing at the dwarves, making comments about them, but Fili couldn’t hear their words over the sounds of suffering all around them. He kept his eyes on Thorin, his king, his rock. Thorin looked back at Fili, and the fire in his eyes turned to sorrow. Thorin almost seemed to be pleading with his heir to forgive him, though Fili didn’t know what for. It wasn’t his fault they had ended up here. He had fought as well as any of them. He had tried.

Fili’s eyes darted for an instant to his brother. In stark contrast to Thorin, Kili was not trying to hide his feelings. He looked frightened, and sickened by what he was seeing and hearing. He looked to Fili, his eyes begging for help, for comfort, to wake up and have his big brother wrap him up in a blanket and soothe him as he had when they were children. But there was nothing Fili could do, no waking from this nightmare, not unless their burglar and wizard, curse them both, showed up right now to save them…

The men stopped talking and came over. One of them grabbed Fili and the other grabbed Kili. Thorin cried out, protesting that they were brothers, that they couldn’t be paired together, please don’t make them…

The men laughed and said that these dwarves were pretty, that their offspring would fetch a good price even with a few deficiencies. Fili struggled, desperate to escape, to grab his brother and take him far away from here. Kili looked back at him with the same desperation, the same struggling, but they couldn’t pull free, especially when more of the men came to help. Thorin screamed louder, fighting against the men that moved to hold him back, fighting to save his nephews from whatever was coming next.

It was no use. The men held Fili and Kili down. Someone pulled Fili’s hair and yanked his head back, forcing his mouth open, and someone else forced a sharp, acidic liquid down his throat. Fili choked and gagged on it, but had little choice but to swallow.

He didn’t feel any different, other than the burn in his throat. The men threw him into an empty cell and a second later, Kili was tossed in after him. The door slammed shut and was locked, even as Fili got to his feet and threw himself against the bars.

Kili did not move. Fili screamed and threw himself against the door again, but that did little good beyond hurting a lot. Thorin roared as well, trying to pull away from his captors, but their grips were too strong. Fili cried out, begging for release, to let Kili go, to leave them alone…

Kili stood up suddenly. Fili looked to his brother, hoping that between the two of them they could get out. But then he saw the look in his brother’s eyes and his blood turned cold.

Kili’s eyes were dark, almost black. His breath was heavy and his face was flushed. Fili backed away instinctively. Kili kept coming after him, backing him into the bars.

“Ki…” Fili whispered. “Ki, don’t do this.”

Kili didn’t speak. He moved forward suddenly and grabbed Fili’s wrists, shoving him harder against the bars. His mouth came down on Fili’s in a searing, biting kiss.

Fili screamed against Kili’s mouth, trying to pull away but not having enough room to move. His brother’s grip was uncommonly strong on his wrists, and Fili knew there would be bruising there.

Kili pulled away after a moment. He moved to clutch both of Fili’s wrists in one hand. The other started tearing at Fili’s clothes, ripping the already thin fabric off. Fili struggled harder, trying to get his legs high enough to shove Kili away. Kili growled and pressed his legs against Fili’s, pinning him down. Fili whimpered, turning his face away when Kili reached between his legs, starting to press his fingers inside.

“Kili, please,” he begged, his voice barely more than a whisper.

But Kili seemed beyond reason now. He yanked Fili away from the bars and threw him face first onto the ground. Fili cried out as his arms automatically shot out to break his fall and screamed in agony upon impact. He couldn’t even scramble to his feet before Kili was on him, pinning him with his weight, his hands going into Fili’s hair and digging into his scalp, pushing his face into the dirt.

Fili fought, even now, even though he could barely even breathe from the smell of whatever he was being pushed down into, even though in his frenzied state Kili had the advantage. 

Thorin was screaming louder now, begging the men to release them, don’t make them, please don’t make them hate each other, please don’t make them suffer like this, and the others were screaming as well, pleading for them to be released, for their suffering to end, for them not to face the consequences, please, they didn’t deserve this…

It all vanished when Kili shoved into him, large and rough and without care that Fili wasn’t ready, that he didn’t want it, and Fili was screaming louder than ever, scrabbling in the dirt and trying to shove his brother off, his brother, this was wrong, it was unnatural, he wouldn’t do this, he couldn’t go through it anymore…

He couldn’t hear anything else over his own screaming and Kili’s grunts of primal need and pleasure. He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that it would be over soon, that it would end…but he knew it wasn’t. Even once this horrible drug wore off, he would still have to bear the consequence of it. He was fairly certain he knew what he had swallowed now, he’d heard of it before, the potion used in times of desperation that would grant male dwarves the ability to bear young. He whimpered, wondering how he could carry a babe all the way to Erebor, if the child would even make it, given its genetics. He half-hoped that it wouldn’t, that he wouldn’t have to live with this for the rest of his life.

The weight and heat and burn and the smell soon overwhelmed him and he blacked out. His last thought was that wouldn’t slow Kili down at all.

*

When Fili came to, it was still to a world of noise, but at least Kili was no longer on top of him. Fili groaned and sat up, wincing from every movement. It took a few minutes for him to recover his senses, but when he did, he noticed a few things.

He could no longer hear the shouts of the rest of the company. He couldn’t tell if it was because they were further away or if their pleas and protests had been swallowed up in the rest of the noise in this place.

He opened his eyes and glanced around. He soon spotted Kili, curled in a corner and rocking back and forth. Fili could hear him sobbing if he focused.

“Ki?” he said quietly.

Kili looked up, his face streaked with tears, his eyes wide with pain and horror. “Fi,” he whispered. “What have I done?”

Fili took several shuddering breaths. “Is…is it over?”

“We’re still…locked up,” Kili said jerkily. “And they said they’d be back with more…I wanted to…when it was done, I…Fili, I didn’t want…”

“I know. It’s not your fault.” They were silent for a few minutes before Fili managed to speak again. “What happened to the others?”

“Same thing,” Kili said. “They were all fighting, though.” The ghost of a smile flitted across his face. “Took a full dozen to hold Dori down when Ori got taken off. Didn’t see too much of it, though, it was rather chaotic.”

“Uncle?”

“I don’t know.” Kili was starting to regain a bit of strength, though he still wouldn’t look into Fili’s eyes. “He was the last one taken off…the others went in pairs, but there are thirteen, so…I don’t know what became of him.”

Fili nodded jerkily. “Right,” he said. “So…” He didn’t know what else to say.

“I’m sorry,” Kili whispered. 

They fell silent again. Fili curled up in another corner to try and sleep—he had a feeling that he would need his strength again soon.

*

They stayed in that place for three weeks, or so Fili estimated. During that time, Fili didn’t see or hear any of the others. Each day, the men came in with bread and water, which they took gratefully at first until they realized Kili’s was laced with the drug that sent him wild. But when Kili refused the food, they only forced him to take the drug straight.

Fili quickly resigned himself to this fate and attempted to make it easier. He didn’t fight Kili’s holds, didn’t try to run, only waited it out, letting his brother use his body whenever the frenzy came upon him and then hearing Kili’s tears when it ended.

Fili did not cry. He had to stay strong, had to take care of his brother. There was no time for him to cry.

They had just finished another round when finally, finally that accursed wizard showed up.

Fili was never quite sure about the specifics, being too exhausted from his experiences to pay much attention. All he knew was that there was a click from the lock and a moment later, his sword and knives were being pressed into his hands.

“Get up,” Bilbo whispered. “We have to go quickly.”

Fili struggled to his feet and gathered what weapons he could close to him. He heard Bilbo urging Kili to his feet, and then he was led out the door, where the others were already waiting, none of them quite making eye contact with any of the others.

As soon as they were in reach, Thorin threw himself on his nephews, hugging them close. He looked slightly better treated than the others, but he was still ragged and clearly exhausted.

“Hurry up!” Bilbo barked. “Gandalf can only keep them asleep for so long!”

They hurried back up the stairs, following Bilbo’s lead—clearly the Hobbit had had time to figure out how to get out, because he never hesitated at any turning, pointedly ignoring the cages all around them. Thorin moved up to the front and Fili could hear him ask Bilbo if they would free the others. Bilbo said there wasn’t time, but he had made note of this place so they could return when they had finished their quest.

They ran through the halls, up and up until they finally found a small backdoor. Bilbo led them out, straight onto a large green field that would take them into a nearby forest. Not the best choice for dwarves, but it was better than what they’d left behind. Fili’s legs ached, his injuries from their ordeal all flaring and making it harder and harder to keep going. He could feel himself flagging, but he wasn’t the only one. He didn’t want to think about how many of his friends had been through the same things he had, how many would have to deal with consequences for years to come.

Deeper into the trees, just a little further, he couldn’t stop until Thorin said, he had to keep going. The trees around him seemed to blur, the ground stop meeting his feet…he couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear, he couldn’t even think…

He heard Thorin calling his name as he fainted.

*

When Fili next awoke, Oin was kneeling over him, obviously checking him over. Fili groaned and batted at him. He knew what was wrong. He’d suspected it for a few days already, just hadn’t said anything yet. If he’d told their captors, they would have taken Kili away, and Fili wouldn’t have known what would happen to him.

“Hush, lad,” Oin said. “Lie still so I can see what’s wrong.”

“You know what’s wrong,” Fili muttered. “You know what they wanted…what they did.”

Oin didn’t seem to hear him, or at least acted like he didn’t, though Fili noticed how his hands were shaking in a way they normally didn’t. Fili didn’t comment. None of them needed to be reminded.

He glanced around, noting the others had set up camp. All of them were very subdued, none of them speaking. Ori was curled into Dori’s side, shaking so violently that Fili was afraid he would be the next one to pass out. Dori, for once, didn’t pet his brother, didn’t move to comfort him, looking too shocked and disgusted, with himself or with someone else, Fili couldn’t be certain. He couldn’t see Nori at all and assumed that the thief had gone off somewhere alone.

Bofur was sitting on a log, head in his hands, silent for the first time since Fili had met him. Beside him, Bombur was rocking back and forth, his eyes wide and unseeing. Bifur was standing a few feet away, punching a tree. Fili knew that had to hurt, but no one moved to stop him.

Balin and Dwalin were both silent, their faces completely expressionless, though Fili knew them well enough to know that it was just a mask, that both wanted to break and scream and rage at the world. But they only sat silent, waiting for someone else to make a decision.

Gloin seemed to be praying, his lips moving wordless, his eyes closed. Fili could only guess that he was begging for forgiveness from his wife, his son, and from any deity that might be listening. It didn’t seem to be doing him much good.

Kili sat beside his brother, not touching him, but at least Kili was willing to look at him. Fili didn’t think he could stand it if his brother withdrew entirely, even after what had happened. Kili was crying, but at least now it was a silent, resigned crying instead of the weeping and gnashing of teeth from the last few weeks. Then again, Fili hadn’t heard any sound from Kili in a few days and wondered if his brother had lost his voice entirely.

Thorin was a few feet away, close enough to keep an eye on his people but far enough that he could mutter to Gandalf without any of them hearing. They seemed to be arguing, as usual, but at least Thorin looked all right. Fili wondered if Thorin had been used for breeding stock or if he had been given preferential treatment because the men knew who he was. Either way, he seemed as brooding and regal as ever as he murmured to the wizard, both looking exceptionally stubborn.

Bilbo was at the center of the camp, cooking supper. He didn’t speak to any of them as he passed bowls around. Everyone accepted their portion without complaint, though most only picked at their food in spite of the hunger that Fili knew they must all be feeling. He agreed. He didn’t want to eat, didn’t want to go on. He wanted to go home, back to his mother, back to where he was safe and loved…

Bilbo approached as Oin moved away. Fili sat up and stared nonplussed at the bowl of stew that Bilbo offered him.

“Eat,” Bilbo said. “You need your strength.” He glanced at Oin, who nodded wordlessly. “Gandalf told me…well…you need nourishment.”

“I don’t want it,” Fili whispered. “I want to be rid of it…I don’t want to have to know…”

Bilbo bit his lip and looked down. Fili sighed. He knew the laws, how sacred children were, no matter the circumstances of their birth…

“Let me talk to Thorin,” Bilbo said. “And Gandalf. I think…well, I don’t want to make any promises. Hobbits and dwarves have very different ideas about these things.”

Fili looked at him incredulously. “You can’t mean…”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Bilbo said. “But for now, eat.”

Fili took the bowl and watched as the burglar crossed the camp and slipped himself into Thorin and Gandalf’s conversation.

*

Thorin had them up and moving again the next morning, saying that he didn’t want to be caught again and they needed to keep going. When asked their destination, he muttered something about meddlesome wizards before he announced they were going to Rivendell after all, where they could all rest and figure out the extent of the damage done.

Not that there was really any question about it. If the potion had worked on Fili, there was no reason to think the others had been spared the same fate. None of them had to say a word for it to be clear that their journey to Erebor was going to be a lot more complicated than anticipated.

As they walked that day, Fili spotted Thorin whispering with Balin and Bilbo a lot. The king’s face was desperate, pleading, and Bilbo looked much the same. But Balin only shook his head, murmuring too low for Fili to hear, but that was all he needed to know. There was no getting out of this one.

They reached Rivendell a month later, exhausted and weary and with half the company showing symptoms of their pregnancies and the other half radiating so much guilt it was almost palatable. Oh, everyone had apologized multiple times to whoever they had been paired with, along with their brothers, as was proper, and Fili knew that all the bearers had forgiven the sires, but that didn’t change the guilt they all still felt over it.

It was almost a relief when they reached the House of Elrond. The elves were surprisingly courteous to them, offered them rooms and healers and whatever else they desired.

Fili was grateful, though he could tell that Thorin was beginning to crack under all the strain. He did not dare ask his uncle what all had happened in that wretched place, but he knew that between that and being around this many elves, Thorin was one false move away from killing something.

His uncle’s temper aside, it really was the most pleasant part of the journey so far. The elves fussed over him and all the other bearers to an almost embarrassing degree, making sure they were perfectly comfortable and happy. Well, as happy as they could be, given the circumstances, though as time passes, Fili began to feel a certain sense of peace.

Indeed, several of the others were beginning to come to terms with what had happened, and a few even seemed to be making the best of the situation. Fili was sure he’d seen Ori and Dori knitting again and discussing baby names, Ori even looking the tiniest bit excited about the thought of his own child.

That was all well and good for them, but Fili wasn’t ready to be excited over this. In spite of him, Kili, and Thorin all suggesting that maybe he shouldn’t go through with this, no one else seemed to agree. Balin said that children were too sacred, that if Mahal had seen fit to give them this burden, clearly there was a reason for it, and most of the other dwarves, while sympathetic, agreed. Upon being told no, Kili had locked himself away in his room and had not been seen since.

Fili spent a lot of time wandering the halls of Rivendell, and when he did, he usually wound up near his uncle’s quarters, seeking comfort from someone who supported him in his desire not to be forced into parenthood. One day, though, he didn’t get that support, due to the argument already going on inside.

“You can’t continue this journey.” Fili was certain that was Lord Elrond’s voice.

“I must,” Thorin said. “We’ve come too far.”

“You’re in no condition to face what’s coming. You all need rest and safety.”

“I won’t turn back from this.”

“Then stay here!” Elrond urged. “Stay here, and let us look after you!”

“I will not remain here to see my future heir raised by elves,” Thorin said bluntly. “They should be born in the mountain.”

“You would risk all of them, all of their children, for a dream.” Elrond sounded more angry than Fili could imagine any elf sounding. “Would you put the future of your people at such risk?”

“They are not the only future we have,” Thorin snapped. “We will continue this quest. We will reach the mountain by Durin’s Day. And our children will grow up in the mountain, where they belong.”

“You could lose them if you continue this journey,” Elrond said quietly. “I cannot allow it.”

“I don’t give a damn what you allow,” Thorin growled. “These are my people and they’ve sworn to follow. We will do what we must.”

Fili decided that was a good moment to escape.

*

They left Rivendell the very next morning, to the deep grumblings of most of the company. Most of the bearers did not fancy being in such a vulnerable position given their condition, and even some of the sires were voicing concerns that this really wasn’t a good idea and shouldn’t they have at least left the bearers in Rivendell and continued on alone?

But if taking back the mountain with fourteen people was foolhardy, trying to take it with eight was even stupider, so they had no choice but to follow Thorin into the mountains.

Then there were storms and cold and stone giants and Fili was overwhelmed with fear for himself, for his brother, for his child…

And wasn’t that just wonderful, that his maternal instincts were starting to kick in right when things were starting to get the most dangerous. He still hated the situation, possibly even hated the baby, but in the moment when he and Kili were separated, when he feared that he would fall and be dashed on the rocks below, his first thought was that his child shouldn’t die this way.

Reaching a dry cave should have been a relief, should have been a chance for them to all rest. Fili was dizzy with relief after the fear of the stone giants, and he could tell many of the others were in the same way. Bofur was clutching at his stomach, suddenly seeming far more protective than suited him, and Doir was busy fussing over both his brothers, calling for Oin to come and check them both over in spite of all of Nori’s protests.

But at last, everyone was checked and declared to be perfectly fine, and they settled into what should have been a peaceful sleep.

And it was, until Thorin shouted for them to get up and the floor went out from under them.

*

The goblin caves smelled even worse than the breeding hall, and Fili didn’t even try to hide his disgust this time. His stomach was in a delicate enough state these days without having to smell such horrors.

He wasn’t the only one—every single bearer in the group was either violently ill upon entering the cavern, or fighting very hard not to be. But they had no choice but to be pushed forward, to stand at the feet of the Goblin King, to listen to the insults and insinuations…

Thankfully, Gandalf was a little quicker to arrive this time, a bright light shining in the cave, their weapons back in hand, and then it was just fighting, running, killing…

But of course, even once they had escaped the caves, they couldn’t stop for more than a moment to locate their missing burglar, but once he was found (and had made Thorin look like a complete ass, not that it was hard), they were off again, wargs and orcs on their heels, up into the trees, and there was fire and the trees were falling and of course Thorin would decide that now as a good time to confront Azog and almost get himself killed....

Then there were eagles and they were flying through the air, and that was just the icing on the cake for what had been a very, very bad day. Fili slumped forward, certain that either he or his cargo would die from the sheer stress he had accumulated since they had left Rivendell.

And being up this high was not helping with his morning sickness.

But then they were on the carrack, and the Lonely Mountain was in sight, and for the first time since leaving home, Fili began to feel a little bit hopeful.

He glanced around at the company. Several of the bearers were speaking softly, hands over their bellies, whispering to their children that they were in sight of home, that they would get there after all.

Fili looked to his brother, standing beside him, and he smiled slightly. “We’re gonna make it, Ki,” he said. “We’re going to get there.”

Kili smiled back. “Yes,” he said. “We’re going to be all right.”

*

Beorn’s house wasn’t nearly as comfortable as Rivendell, but after everything they’d all been through, it was about the best place Fili could imagine.

It had been several months since their time in the breeding pens and most of the bearers were visibly showing. Oin was kept busy, running between them, making sure all six were well taken care of, in addition to dealing with an increasingly grumpy Thorin, who was very put-out that they were wasting so much time here when they were so close to the mountain. But the rest of the company overruled him, saying that they would not go through Mirkwood unless they all got some rest first.

Fili was grateful. Now that he had come so close to death, he felt an overwhelming protectiveness toward his unborn child in spite of everything, He knew that the chances of its survival were still low, even if he wasn’t on a very life-threatening journey. And even though he’d seen the mountain, far off and majestic, he wasn’t sure that was what he wanted now.

The others seemed to agree with these sentiments.

“We can’t go on like this,” Balin said quietly. Fili wasn’t technically supposed to hear this conversation, but the farm was relatively small and Fili couldn’t help it. “They won’t make it through the forest.”

“They have to,” Thorin said. “We have to get there.”

“They aren’t well enough to travel. You aren’t well enough to travel.”

Fili could feel his uncle’s glare even from ten feet away and instinctively shrank back.

Balin, as usual, was unfazed by it. “At least wait here until the babies come,” he said. “Beorn was saying that they would be stronger with regular meals and sleep.”

“And then what?” Thorin snapped. “March into Erebor with half a dozen children and hope they’re cute enough that Smaug just buggers off politely?”

Balin sighed. “Oin said they’re at the point where undue stress could send them into early labor. We can’t be running through the forest into danger!”

Thorin’s jaw was set. “We’ll rest here until everyone’s injuries from the goblins have healed,” he said. “Then we move on, whatever conditions are left.”

*

They left Beorn’s a month later, in spite of the increasing protests from all sides. Even Gandalf, who knew the importance of their mission, suggested that maybe they should wait out the pregnancies and try again next year. Thorin only glowered.

And of course Gandalf left them again at the edge of the forest. And of course Thorin refused to wait for him, but plunged on ahead without a second thought.

And then the forest was unsettling and strange and messed with all of their heads—or were their pregnancies and traumas finally catching up with them? Fili knew that he, at least, was having more and more flashbacks to that place as they went on, the weight in his belly growing ever heavier.

At Beorn’s, there had been peace, and the sires and bearers had finally all seemed to forgive each other and themselves. They had come to terms with it, even if they didn’t like it. Fili and Kili had even joked at each other with something of their old spirit, for the first time not even thinking of the burden they carried.

But in the forest, the guilt and pain and memories all came rushing back, making half the company stop speaking to the other half again and making Thorin’s mood even fouler than usual. And of course they got lost and wandered longer than usual, with no idea of where they were going. And of course there were spiders, and even after Bilbo got them out of that, there were elves, with their stupid pointed ears and their bows and their smug faces and some upstart blond was insulting them and Ori was crying with fear, no doubt brought on by memories, and even several of the other dwarves looked faint and sick and that was when Fili snapped.

“Fuck’s sake, if you’re just going to stand there and be a stupid tree-shagging prick, you could at least give us a chair!” he snapped. “Or are you too blind to see that we are in no condition to be pushed around?”

The blond elf looked at Fili, who glared back with the full force of the hormones he’d been bottling for the last seven months, and the elf seemed to wilt a little.

“Take them to my father,” he said to the guards. “Gently.”

So here they were, dragged before the Elf King, their weapons confiscated, all caught between anger and sobbing and altogether not looking very dignified. Except Thorin. Thorin always managed to strike the right balance between righteously pissed-off and regally bored.

Fili had never met Thranduil before, having spent his life far to the west, but he could immediately see why Thorin disliked him. Too tall, too pretty, too cold. At least the son, whose name Fili hadn’t caught, seemed to have a spark of warmth in his eyes, but from Thranduil, there was only a sort of haughtiness that could only be associated with elvish royalty.

Thranduil surveyed the company as they were pulled into his throne room, looking rather put out. “And what brings a company of dwarves into this forest?” he asked. “And why are half of them bearing young?”

Thorin stepped forward, as though to shield the others. “We were on our way to the Iron Hills,” he said. “I think our reasons should be obvious.”

A look passed between them that Fili couldn’t interpret, though they seemed to reach some sort of understanding. Perhaps Thranduil knew of the place where they had been bred, or perhaps he and Thorin simply knew each other well enough to pass messages telepathically, much as Thorin was loathe to admit it. Or maybe Thranduil was just psychic.

Whatever the reason, Thranduil nodded slowly. “I will see to it that your people are cared for,” he said, much to the surprise of just about everyone. “Though I do not believe your story and I wish to speak to you later, Thorin Oakenshield.” He looked to the guards. “Take them to the guest wing and send healers to them. Keep the doors locked and guarded and have food sent up immediately.” He looked back at Thorin. “You and I will continue this conversation later.”

Thorin nodded and the company, too exhausted to argue, allowed the guards to lead them away.

*

Fili supposed he ought to be grateful he hadn’t been thrown in a dungeon or something, but after a full month in the care of all these stuffy elves, with no word from his companions, he was even more tetchy than usual.

He had been informed by the golden-haired prince that Thorin had refused a deal from Thranduil and that the company would be kept here until an agreement had been reached. Fili was rather annoyed at his uncle for being so stubborn, but there was a small part of him that was grateful that he did not have to keep going like this. He knew, even without the oh-so-helpful elvish healers, that he was nearing the end of his time and he was having a lot of trouble even getting out of bed these days.

He was mildly shocked when the elf prince came dashing into the room one day, telling all healers to move, that the first of the babes was coming. In an instant, the room was clear except for Fili and the elf prince, who sat heavily in one of the chairs, looking dazed.

Fili, sitting up in the bed, raised his eyebrows. “I don’t recall inviting you to stay,” he commented.

“It’s my castle,” the prince retorted. “And the healers with the one who’s gone into labor…don’t know his name, the little one…they told me to fetch the others and get out because it’s no sight for one of my years.”

Fili considered him. “Are you so young by elvish standards?” he asked curiously. “Old enough to be running around the woods but too young to witness a birth?”

“I’m useful in the woods,” he answered. “In the birthing chamber, I’m completely helpless.” He glanced at Fili. “My name is Legolas, by the way. Since you didn’t deign to ask.”

“I don’t usually make a point of learning the names of my uncle’s enemies,” Fili replied coolly. “But since you began, my name is Fili.”

“From your statement, I assume your uncle is Thorin Oakenshield?” Legolas asked.

“Yes,” Fili confirmed. He had no reason to lie.

“And he has brought you, his nephew, on a dangerous quest, knowing that you were expecting?”

Fili shifted uncomfortably. “We weren’t when we started,” he mumbled. “But…things happened…and we couldn’t stop…” He felt himself beginning to tremble, the memories clawing to the surface of his mind.

Legolas’s brow furled. “My father said that the children you expect are not cause for joy,” he said slowly. “I assumed he was referring to the animosity between our peoples, but I have seen that none of you seem particularly happy. It is strange to me, though, for every child in the woodland realm is considered a great blessing.”

Fili took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He couldn’t let this elf see him weak. “We…we were attacked,” he said, his voice shaking. “A group of Men came upon us…we were overwhelmed by their numbers. They tied us…took our weapons, as you did, but they were not so courteous to us. We were blindfolded and taken to a place…a dark place, a dungeon, where dwarves of all sorts were imprisoned…forced to breed…I don’t know if you’ve ever seen beyond this forest, but there are certain Men who keep dwarves as pets. They think us nothing but dumb muscle, things to be toyed with, or used as guards or worse…and we were to be bred, to produce more pets for these Men.” He had to stop for a moment, taking in the horrified expression on Legolas’s face. “They gave us potions,” he said. “Paired us off…gave half of us something to give us the ability to bear, and the other something that made them…feral. Lustful. Unable to control themselves. Then we were locked with our assigned partner and forced…well, they knew how to mix their potions, anyway, because there are six children on the way and nothing we can do about it.”

Legolas was completely white, his eyes wide with disgust and pity. “I did not…I had never heard of such…” He hardly seemed able to form words.

“You’re lucky,” Fili said bitterly. “You’ve been allowed to remain here, safe and isolated, hidden away from the horrors of the world. I wonder if you would be able to face anything beyond the spiders.” He studied the other prince carefully. “Have you ever known sorrow, Legolas son of Thranduil? Have you ever been in true fear for your life? Have you known pain beyond the bumps and scrapes of a small child? Have you ever looked on your own brother with fear, or had him look at you with such guilt that you wish to cast your fear aside?”

“You mean your brother…?”

“He did not wish it,” Fili said vehemently. “It was not his fault. We tried to protest…we tried to fight it. But…well, I’m amazed I’ve managed to carry our child this far.”

Legolas was shaking and Fili felt a momentary urge of vindictive triumph, but that was quickly replaced by overwhelming sadness and even a bit of fear. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to us,” Fili admitted quietly. “I don’t know if we’ll reach the mountain…I don’t know if we’ll be able to slay the dragon.” He took a deep breath. “But…I would ask a boon of you, Legolas.”

“Anything,” Legolas said instantly. “Your sorrows are great enough that I will not add to them.”

“Keep the children,” Fili said. “If Ori’s having his, it’s only a matter of time for the rest…they’ll probably all arrive before we’ve found a way to leave. Once they do…and once we’ve found a way out, because we will…I ask that we be able to leave our babes in the care of your people until our home is reclaimed and we can take them there.”

Legolas nodded. “I will make sure of it,” he promised. “They will have a safe home here.” He frowned suddenly, as though recalling something. “Did you say you were expecting six?” he asked.

“Yes,” Fili confirmed, nonplussed. “That’s how many I was informed of, unless someone is having a set?”

“No,” Legolas said slowly. “But I was told by the healers there were seven.”

“Seven?” Fili asked. “But I was there, I saw how they operated, and there were six pairings and…” His eyes widened. “Oh.”

Legolas nodded. “I wonder,” he said. “How Thorin Oakenshield managed to keep that quiet for this long.”

*

As the days passed, Legolas spent more and more time in Fili’s room, usually bringing news of one of the others. The babies were coming in rapid succession, having been conceived so close and with the stress speeding the process considerably. Legolas was soberer than before, more thoughtful, and Fili could see age in his blue eyes beyond that of anyone he’d ever met before.

Fili didn’t know why Legolas chose to sit with him, out of all the bored dwarves in this place, but he was grateful to have someone to talk to, someone to tell his story to. Legolas listened as Fili detailed their journey, describing every pain he had felt, every emotion he’d seen throughout. It clearly bothered the elf prince to an alarming degree, but Fili pressed on. If the boy’s father wouldn’t let him leave these halls, then Fili would have to educate him about the world himself.

And really, once he had stopped being so stuffy, Legolas wasn’t too bad to have around. Sure, he was an elf, and Thranduil’s son, but he was at least company, and someone who Fili had at least something in common with, both being young princes of kingdoms ruled by stubborn half-wits. It was strangely comforting, having someone nearby who at least understood some of Fili’s experiences, and if he couldn’t have his brother, well, at least he had someone.

And it was very fortunate that Legolas chose to stay with Fili day after day, because that meant there was someone right there when Fili suddenly felt a wash of wetness between his legs, followed by a sharp pain in his side. “Legolas,” Fili said as calmly as he could manage with the sudden fear that clutched his heart. “I think I’ve just gone into labor.”

The elf prince was instantly on his feet and out the door. Fili sighed and got himself as comfortable as he could, trying to remember what he was supposed to do besides scream at this point. Fortunately, the healers were inside quickly, moving around and shouting orders. Legolas came in behind them, looking anxious and uncertain.

“Your Highness, you don’t want to see this,” one of the healers said quietly.

“He stays,” Fili gasped.

The healers all looked at him. Fili glowered. “He stays,” he repeated. “My brother cannot be here and I want someone I trust nearby. Besides, you can’t keep him sheltered forever.”

Legolas looked just as shocked as the healers at Fili’s declaration of trust, but the elf prince recovered quickly and moved to Fili’s side.

The healer who had tried to chivy him out raised her eyebrows, but then shrugged. “All right, then,” she said. “He’ll want something to hold onto soon enough. Make sure it’s not your shooting hand, please.”

The next several hours were nothing but pain. Fili clutched Legolas’s hand and roared, dwarvish battle cries falling from his lips. Unorthodox, maybe, but it seemed to work. This was also a battle, after all, probably the hardest Fili would ever face. He made a note to thank his mother later.

But beyond the pain, Fili was aware of something else, a small hand brushing over his forehead, a soft voice whispering in his ear, a soft presence beside him, unseen but no less real. Fili turned his head away from Legolas, hoping to see this presence, but then another wave of pain overtook him and his eyes squeezed shut.

“Easy,” the little voice whispered. “You’re doing well, Fili…you’re almost there.”

And Fili knew that voice. He squeezed the invisible hand in his, glad to know that the Hobbit was beside him.

“Fili?” Legolas asked. “What are you holding?”

Fili opened his mouth to answer, but he could only scream in response. One of the healers shook her head. “Must be a dwarvish thing,” she said. “The others all did it, too…almost like there’s a spirit that arrives to guide them through births.”

“Thorin just about ripped my arm off,” Bilbo whispered into Fili’s ear. “He has a girl…Thruth, I think he called her. She’s beautiful…I’m sure yours will be as well…now push, Fili…there’s a good lad.”

And whatever else could be said about the Hobbit, Fili was intensely grateful for his presence now. “Baruk khazad!” he screamed, and pushed, and then there was more pain, as though his body was being torn apart, and there was blood, so much blood, but then there was a small cry and a small body was being picked up and cleaned and there was more pain and intensity…

The large white hand that had been clutching Fili’s throughout suddenly went limp and Fili let go just in time for the elf prince to faint onto the floor.

The healers clucked. “And that’s why we didn’t want him in the birthing room,” one commented. “Now, let’s get you both cleaned up and you can meet your daughter.”

Fili mumbled something that the elves took as assent, because they pulled him out of bed and to a bath. They washed him down quickly and then rather unceremoniously deposited him back onto the bed and shoved a small bundle into his arms. Fili managed to focus long enough to recognize that he held a very tiny baby in his arms and in spite of himself, he smiled slightly.

The healers gave something to Legolas that woke him up and escorted him out of the room.

As soon as the door closed again, Bilbo appeared beside Fili on the bed, leaning over eagerly to see the child. “She is pretty,” he said. “I mean…”

“It’s fine,” Fili said. “We’re almost done with this.” He shook himself and looked to the burglar. “Have you found a way out?”

“I have,” Bilbo said. “But it’s not the best path…and it would mean leaving the children behind.”

“We can do that,” Fili said. “Legolas has already promised that they will be cared for, and I would sooner not carry them into the mountain while there’s still a dragon there.”

“Thorin agreed,” Bilbo said. “Some of the others are a bit more reluctant…you’re the last to deliver, actually. But we may not have a choice.”

“We can’t take them into Erebor,” Fili said flatly. “No matter who’s gone and gotten attached. And I know that leaving them with elves isn’t the best decision, but I know that they’ll at least be safe and looked after. Elves view all children as sacred so at least I know they won’t be harmed.”

“Agreed,” Bilbo said. “As soon as you’re strong enough to move and I have a good distraction, we’ll be leaving.”

Fili glanced down at the babe in his arms, quiet for a moment, before he took a deep breath. “I may be able to arrange something,” he said. “But you must never, ever tell Uncle. He’ll have my beard if he knew.”

Bilbo raised his eyebrows. “I think, after keeping you all in the dark about his own child for months, he deserves not to know everything.”

*

It was surprisingly easy to get Legolas to agree to the plan, even though it meant undermining his father in almost every way. Or maybe that was an added incentive. Fili didn’t bother to ask.

“You’ll have a chance in a week’s time,” Legolas said. “There will be a celebration, and it will be easy to distract the guards. I will ensure that your spirit can get to the keys and carry out the rest of his plan. It…it may be a bit soon for you to be up and moving, but it’s the best I can do.”

“Thank you,” Fili said. He glanced to the cradle where his daughter slept soundly. He still had not named her, not wanting to grow too close to the child he would soon be leaving, perhaps forever. “And you’re sure that they’ll be cared for?”

“Positive,” Legolas said. “My people would never harm a child, no matter what her parentage. It…it may reinforce their less than favorable notions about dwarves if they can say that you abandon your children so readily, but…”

“Dragon,” Fili said. “I know.” He stared at his child for several long minutes. “I know some of the others will reclaim theirs,” he said. “But…if I don’t come back…”

“We’ll keep her,” Legolas repeated. “Or adopt her out to a good dwarven family.”

“I’m sorry,” Fili said. “But I can’t…I can’t see this as any sort of blessing.”

“I know,” Legolas said. “I…well, I can’t understand it, perhaps. Elves don’t have this sort of crime. But…I know why you wouldn’t want to take her with you.”

“Thank you,” Fili said. “I hope that our kingdoms can one day come to more agreements.”

*

As promised, the chance came a week later. Bilbo appeared in Fili’s room, having unlocked the door, and the chance to follow was good. He left quickly, determinedly not looking to the baby sleeping peacefully nearby. Bilbo relocked the door and they moved on to fetch the others.

As expected, there were a few protests upon being told that the babies would have to be left behind, but Fili knew that the reminder of a literal fire-breathing dragon would be more than enough to get them to deliver a last kiss to their children’s foreheads and leave quickly. Within the hour, Bilbo had led them down to a cellar, where he had found several barrels and a trap door to send them down the river. Upon seeing this method of transportation, any lingering thought of bringing the children evaporated.

The barrels were awful, the rush of the river sickening, especially to dwarves who were barely back on their feet after delivering babies, but it was an escape, even if there were orcs shooting at them, but Legolas of course knew they were leaving, so he was there, along with a red-haired elf woman who Fili didn’t know, keeping them from dying, and after several hours of nauseating rushing and praying for safety, the dwarves finally washed ashore, sore and sick but alive.

After that, it was just a matter of finding passage into Laketown, and Fili swore he would never touch a fish again as long as he lived, and of course they had to enter the bargeman’s house through the toilet, of all things, and really, could this day get any worse?

It turns out that it could, because of course they would get caught stealing weapons and of course Thorin would choose that moment to start being majestic again, declaring they would reclaim the mountain and generally making a fuss. After the last several months, Fili didn’t much feel like reclaiming anything, and all he really wanted was to sit down somewhere and have a good cry, but of course he couldn’t do that.

At least with the Master on their side, they were given decent food and rooms for the night. Fili was looking forward to having some time on his own, but of course Kili followed him when he took off.

“I heard from Bilbo…”

“Yes,” Fili said. “She’s…well, she’s as good as could be expected.”

Kili nodded. “What do you plan to do once it’s all over?” he asked.

Fili was quiet. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I don’t…I can’t give her a good life…I’ll never be able to see her without thinking about it.”

Kili looked away, his eyes bright with tears. “I wish…” he said.

“Me, too.” Fili looked at his brother for a moment before moving to him and pulling him into his arms. “It’s done now, Kili…it’s done and over. We don’t have to speak of it ever again…the elves will raise her well, and she’ll be…she’ll be happy that way, I think. It’s over, Ki…it’s time to let go.”

“I can’t,” Kili whispered. “I can’t forget…what I did to you…what I put you through…”

“You didn’t do anything to me,” Fili insisted. “None of it was your fault.”

“Did you name her, at least?” Kili asked.

“No,” Fili said. “I was never planning to keep her.”

Kili clung to his brother tighter and Fili could feel tears on his neck. He didn’t speak again, only buried his face in dark hair and finally allowed himself to cry. And Kili didn’t say another word.

*

The next night there was more pain as an arrow wound in Kili’s leg began to fester and Thorin left them behind. They had ended up back in Bard’s home, hoping to find a remedy soon. Fili sat beside Kili and gripped his hand and prayed. He couldn’t lose Kili. Not now. Not after everything they’d gone through.

But then the red-haired elf woman was there, Legolas only a step behind, and they knew what to do. Or at least, the woman did. Legolas was more intent on fighting off the orcs that had decided to come into town tonight. And Fili had to help as well, had to keep the bowman’s children safe, had to keep them away from his brother.

And once the orcs were dispatched with, there was dragon fire not long after, and they had to run, had to trust the elf woman to sail them to safety. Though after she had been so successful with Kili, Fili was much more inclined to trust her.

She and Legolas refused to follow them to Erebor, choosing instead to go after the orc band. So the dwarves crossed to Erebor at last.

Only to be informed that the dragon-sickness had already taken hold of Thorin. Which led to weeks of sitting in the mountain, building walls, and searching for the Arkenstone without rest, in between listening to the elves and men outside their walls demand the gold they so wanted. Not that anyone really listened to them.

Until Thranduil came to the wall with a small bundle in hand.

No one could be certain which child it was from that distance, though Fili strongly suspected it was Thorin’s own. And it was probably not the best move to threaten a small child right in front of her family.

At least it snapped Thorin out of the gold-sickness. Even if no elf would ever harm a child, in that moment, Thorin was angry enough to think that it was possible.

The wall came down quickly and the three kings settled in to negotiate, with the baby settled securely in Thorin’s arms, having been confirmed to be his own Thruth. The others, fearful for their own children, urged that the gold be paid, which it was, and the diamonds as well in exchange for the rest of the small ones. So when Gandalf, Legolas and the red-haired captain reappeared with the news of orcs on the way, there were seven small babies to worry about in addition to everything else.

Fortunately, there were also several women in Dale willing to take them to safety until the battle was over.

Then the orcs arrived and it was all blood and heat and Fili could only focus on fighting, on keeping the orcs from reaching his uncle and brother, on winning this war to keep their home.

He almost didn’t make it. The white orc caught up to them and Fili was certain that he was about to die...

But just as Azog raised his sword to deliver the final blow to Fili’s neck, an elvish arrow came out of nowhere and caught the orc in the throat, downing him easily. Fili turned and spotted Legolas, dashing up the hill toward him.

And after the battle, it was really just a matter of deciding what to do with the children. No one ever asked after anyone else’s child’s parentage. It wasn’t considered polite, and in the end, it was up to those who had born them to decide what to do with them.

Ori and Dwalin refused to give theirs up for any reason. Fili had not expected them to be so vehement about it, but they insisted. This was the will of Mahal and they would obey.

Nori turned his son over to Gloin, saying that the life of a thief and spy was no life for a child. No one bothered to argue.

Bombur and Bofur’s were easily folded into their existing family, to be loved and raised with the other children. They simply shrugged away any questions about it. Dwarvish children needed good dwarvish families. They would not be punished for their circumstances.

Thorin’s daughter was turned over to Bilbo, to return to the Shire. Thorin said quietly that he couldn’t trust himself with her after the gold sickness, and that he would trust no one else to ensure she was raised to be a better person than he was. Besides, there would be old lords who would cast doubt on her worth as a Queen if her circumstances were known. Gandalf agreed and said that Thruth would have to earn the title in her own right.

Fili had meant every word he’d said. He never meant to keep his daughter. He wasn’t strong like the others. He wasn’t able to face what had happened every day of his life.

But that didn’t mean he simply gave her away and never bothered to check in.

If the Crown Prince of Erebor wanted to ride into Mirkwood now and then on diplomatic meetings, that was no one’s business but his. And if there was a small girl with a thin beard there who followed the elven prince like a duckling, her small bow in hand and dark eyes sparkling, a girl who Fili smiled on gently, well, no one needed to know about that.

And somehow, when he watched the girl aim a bow, when he heard her laugh at something he said, when he saw her cling to her adoptive father with all the strength and love that Fili couldn’t give, it didn’t hurt.


End file.
